Attorney Offers Guidance to Families Navigating Divorce
by Steve Mark a freelance journalist, published by Cleveland Jewish News
It takes a certain empathy to work as a family lawyer. Sometimes, a lawyer has to be part caretaker, part psychologist to nurse a client through the legal process.
Attorney Ellen Mandell of the Law Office of Ellen S. Mandell in Beachwood can vouch for this firsthand.
“It is important to consider the mental, emotional and physical health of parents and children in situations where families are splitting up,” Mandell said. “As an attorney, I focus on the legal issues and how best to resolve them without a ‘war’ if that can be avoided.
“Finding a way to compromise and reach a resolution that serves everyone to the fullest extent possible is my focus. Sometimes that isn’t possible. But in every case, I recommend that everyone involved get counseling to help them through the process. Even the friendliest divorces come with an emotional toll.”
That is especially true when children are pawns in of a dispute.
“I represented a woman married to a well-known political figure who was physically abusive to her,” Mandell said. “They had five children. My client allowed me several times to seek a domestic violence protection order for her and the children but each time she withdrew the complaints for fear that her children would hear about it in the news.
“I worked hard to make her see that she was a bright and capable person. I referred her to therapists for her and the children. She never followed through. When she reported to me that her young son was mimicking his father by choking his little sister, I insisted that she seek a protection order and get herself and the children into counseling. When she refused, after many months I withdrew as her attorney because it was clear that I could not help her. This case was particularly distressing to me because I was unsuccessful in getting this client to accept the help she needed for herself and her children.”
Not until several years later, did Mandell learn of the woman’s fate.
“I met this woman and learned that her husband had left her and she had divorced and remarried,” Mandell said. “She seemed to have more self-confidence. She told me that her children were doing very well. I don’t know if the cycle of violence has ended.”
Mandell’s ex-client had plenty of company. The National Center for Health Statistics reported that in 2022, there were 673,989 divorces in the U.S. In Ohio, the divorce rate in 2021 was 2.6%, meaning 2.6 divorces per 1,000 residents.
It is evident that family law demands a certain skill set of an attorney, perhaps different than other areas of legal practice.
“A divorce attorney needs to recognize the distress that both parties might be in,” Mandell said. “That distress on both sides motivates each person and fuels the dispute. Understanding that can help the lawyer craft a settlement of which both parties can take ownership. It is important to recognize the place where your client is and take little steps to resolve issues. Sometimes it takes months where a client is in counseling parallel to the legal proceedings. If it becomes clear that both parties are very invested in the fight, a lawyer needs to make the best legal arguments available and let the court decide the outcome.”
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